Ability Vs. Capability

People are usually quick to form an opinion about someone else. Whether done intentionally or not, we all have a tendency to judge others without really knowing them or understanding their personal circumstances. 

As an individual with cerebral palsy (CP), I have often faced judgement from others, based solely on my medical diagnosis. Labels are powerful and play a huge role in how people are perceived by those around them. A label can feel scary to someone unfamiliar with CP. It highlights that my disability makes me different from other people.    

People find it challenging to embrace someone, to celebrate someone, who is different from them. It is natural for people to fear the unknown. This fear often leads to avoidance. When we avoid getting to know someone, it greatly impacts our perception of them and their true capabilities. 

I was diagnosed with CP as a young child. Doctors predicted that I would never speak, see or have any real quality of life. My parents were told to have low expectations in terms of my development and abilities.

However, despite any diagnosis or label, people are resilient. People will surprise you. They will far exceed the expectations placed on them when given the opportunity to thrive and showcase their true capabilities.

As a teenager, I started to define myself based on how others perceived me. My brain injury caused me to develop social skills at a slower rate than my peers. This lack of social skills and positive relationships in my life, left me feeling anxious, isolated and rejected. At the time, this caused me to develop a certain perspective about what I was truly capable of. 

As a grown adult, I no longer define myself based on how other people may see me. The challenges I face (as a result of my brain injury) do not dictate what I am capable of doing and achieving. I now have a life, that I never could have imagined. I no longer shy away from participating in activities that seem complicated or difficult. I accept the fact that making plans or organizing events requires more time and extra effort for me. However, the challenges I face do not impact my capability to do things. My abilities may be different from the average person, but this does not prevent me from living my life to the fullest.

I am part of an amazing community of people, with a range of abilities. To define their worth based solely on a label, without getting to know them, is a huge mistake. Everyone is capable of great things, in their own way. 

For any questions about this post, please don’t hesitate to email at: dontwaittoadvocate2014@gmail.com

Until next time,

Victoria Benner Edited By: Sarah Wilkinson


Day To Day Life!

Hello!

It has been quite a long time since I have paid any attention to writing. With the
world at a standstill for the foreseeable future, I believe that the best way to handle
your time right now is to find a new passion. This could be anything from reading a
new novel, writing poetry or even learning a new skill. I am choosing to use this time
to return to my passion, writing. In spite of the current circumstances, You can find
your passion in your life, find things to do, be thankful for what you have and who
you have in your life! The most important thing to remember myself included, God is
in control! So, instead of complaining that there is nothing to do, I’m bored, when
will this all be over? Trust and believe – God is in control.
If you have any questions or comments about this post
please feel free to E-mail me at: dontwaittoadvocate14@gmail.com
Take care, stay safe!
Victoria Benner
Edited by: Frank McFadden

 

 

Taming The Tongue and Avoiding Excuses.

The Bible instructs us to be careful of not only WHAT we say, but also HOW we say it.

Ephesians 4:29 says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)

The words we choose to say are important. They should be used to edify others, to build them up, give them confidence and a sense of peace and belonging. But, we often don’t choose our words carefully. Sometimes, words escape from our mouths before we really have a chance to think about them, consider how they will impact others around us.

However, the way we say our words is even more important. Words can be easily misheard and misunderstood by others. We need to monitor our tone, our body language and the reaction we receive from other people.

Often, we make excuses to cover up sinful behaviour or thinking. Usually, we make an excuse to avoid feeling guilty, embarrassed or upset. Making an excuse is always easier than admitting the truth and seeking forgiveness for our mistakes. Often, our sense of pride compels us to cover up or justify our wrong behaviour instead of deciding to take ownership of our mistakes and do our best to move past them.

– Victoria and Sarah

 

 

 

Accessibile!

I’ve been to so many places, that aren’t accessible. Washrooms, Restaurants, Cafes and…the list goes on. Some places are more accessible, than they used to be. There needs to be A LOT MORE IMPROVEMENT though. Not just for Wheelchairs, for Walkers, canes, crutches, ect. Bus Stops, buses, Subways, Trains planes, need to become more ACCESSIBLE! If you, or someone you know, as as any idea. on how they can  make this Community more ACCESSIBLE, please E-mail me at: dontwaittoadvocate14@gmail.com to share your stories and or ideas! Or, comment below!

Thank you,

CHECK THIS OUT!

CHECK THIS OUT!http://www.680news.com/video/2017/11/15/what-its-like-to-take-the-ttc-when-youre-in-a-wheelchair/

 

 

Life Today!

I had a happy Childhood. I’ve been to Africa twice, New Zealand twice, on a Disney Cruise, a Caribbean Cruise, Florida, I couldn’t have asked, for anything better! Life Today though, is very different. I may not be be able travel and go where I want go, or do the things I used to do and the way I used to do them but hey, I’m doing more than I I thought I could on my own! How is your life today?

Keep chasing your dreams!

dontwaittoadvocate14@fmail.com

See you soon,

Victoria

A Two Way Conversation.

Growing up, no matter how many times I was asked, “Are you listening?: I would say, “yes,” the other person would try and say something, I wanted to jump in and interrupt, because I was already thinking about what I was going to say, even before the other person finished. This is because, my Brain goes so fast, I often don’t think before I speak. We all do that, don’t we? I still struggle with this skill today. It’s a hard skill to grasp but, with Behavioural Therapy and Programing. I feel I’m improving but, there’s always room for improvement! I sometimes feel like don’t listen to to God. I do all the talking and don’t listen, to all he has to say. I can’t imagine how hurt God must feel. He’s human…just like us! He wants us to talk to him, in return we should listen to what has to say! If you or someone you know, struggles listening,, pray that God opens your ears and gives you patience to be quite and hear what he has to say!
If you have any questions, please E-mail me at; dontwaittoadvocate14@gmail.com
Victoria

How We need To Deal With The unknow!

Hello everyone,

I know It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on here. Life have been CRAZY lately, that I when I want to sit and write, I’m tired. Today is the day, that God has called me to post something. This post, was written awhile ago but then…I got side tracked. My prayer is that, God will put more messages on my heart, everyday if not, more often! Enjoy this post and I hope to be back soon!

 

Victoria

I’ve been going through some difficult situations lately. People are leaving their jobs to pursue another career! Other things have been happening so QUICKLY, that I God, “God? why are these good people leaving so soddenly, last minute?” Then, I’m reminded that God has the best plan for anyone who and love him. That’s what I tell myself, when people leave to go their own ways and lead their own lives! God’s PLAN…IS PERFECT REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE SITUATION IS GOOD BAD! God goes with us, not before us

DON’T LET SOMEONE’S WORDS, KEEP YOU FROM ADVOCATING FOR YOURSELF!

There are times in my life, where I have let someone else’s words, suggestions keep me from ADVOCATING FOR MYSELF, because their words have upset me, or I’m scared that the reason that I’m ADVOcating for myself, Isn’t a good enough reason, I don’t want to be RUDE about how I’m trying to my point across. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I phoned my worker to inquire to get more Funding, to more in the community. my worker said, “You get more funding, but I don’t know the amount.” Soon  after that conversation, My Mom called me, “You must be good at ADVOCATING for YOURSELF!” “You got more funding!” I was SHOCKED! “THANK You God…for providing my every need!

If would like to share how God is providing your needs, I’d love to read about it below, in the comment box, or at; dontwaittoavocte14@gamail,com

I hope to write more often! See again soon!

Victoria Benner

You Can Do It!

you’ve probably told yourself, I can’t do this, I can’t doat. I know I have said that. How do you know, you can’t do something, until you try? I struggle with it.  when I first out, I was scared to go the store  on my because I was afraid I wouldn’t know the way back home. Today, is a different story! I go out all the time! So, if I can do it…you can do it too!

See you again soon!

Victoria

Being Assertive!

I’ve always found it hard, to be assertive e to people, without being rude or getting upset. Sometimes when I think it’s time to be assertive it’s not then I regret what I’ve said or done , to help the person or myself. A lot of the time, I feel that it’s harder to be assertive for myself, because I’m afraid of what people might say or think me. It’s still a hard skill to lean but, I’m getting better at it!

If you have any questions about this post, please E-mail me at: vjbenner@gmail.com

See you again soon!

Victoria